You’ve probably heard someone say that “chivalry is dead” thousands of times. Not all men have forgotten the rules to being a gentleman, but some just don’t care anymore. Here are seven ways you know that chivalry is dead and gone — from Madamenoire.com.

YOU CAN’T GET A SEAT ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION: Straight up, you have to be past five months pregnant or on crutches to get some men to let you sit down on a packed train or bus. I’ve seen too many men, white, black, green and blue, sit comfortably in their cozy plastic seat, looking straightforward trying to ignore the short woman holding on to a germ infected pole for dear life so she won’t fall while waiting for her stop, 30 minutes away.

THAT ONCE OPEN DOOR HAS CLOSED IN YOUR FACE: This one might be my biggest pet peeve, and I definitely don’t see men do this very much anymore. While shopping at IKEA over the weekend, I had packed one of those tiny, flat pushcarts with a number of large items. On my way to the car, as I was heading out the door, two men were entering through the same door as me. And would you know it, as I struggled to push this heavy piece of crap cart by myself, one of the men walked in as I was trying to push the cart out, getting in my way with not a care in the world. It took a loud scoff on my part to send a signal to his friend that he should do better and hold the door for me. But seriously, why should it take all that at all?

YOU’RE WALKING NEXT TO THE STREET, CLOSER TOT HE TRAFFIC: It shouldn’t be only on a date that a man stands closest to the street when with you, it should be an everyday thing. When a woman is walking on the sidewalk, whenever, wherever, a man is supposed to walk on the side of the street next to the traffic. Will a car necessarily come flying into you as you walk to McDonalds? Hopefully not, but dang, a woman shouldn’t be the one about to fall into oncoming traffic because there are too many men on the sidewalk trying to window shop. Plus, let a puddle from the street hit you while you’re dressed to the nines on the way to work and watch all hell break loose. This rage can be prevented…

HE DOESN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO MAKE IT ‘IN’ SAFELY: So your date is over and the man you’re with takes you back to your place. It’s agreed that nothing else will happen on that evening (meaning, he’s sleeping at his own place) so he’ll quickly drop you off and head home. It’s not always necessary for a guy to walk you to your door (though it would be nice), especially if your front door is visible and not shrouded in bushes and mystery, so you exchange hugs and a kiss before you walk to the door. As you open it, you turn around to wave goodbye and give the signal that all is clear, but homeboy is already long gone, the fumes from his car wafting away on your street.

MOVING HEAVY MATERIALS BY YOURSELF: If you’re moving into an apartment, or just trying to move a box from one place to another in public, there’s something extremely vexing about watching a strong man look at you as you struggle, and fail to ask you if you need help. Chances are, if they were to stop and offer you some help, you wouldn’t ask them to stop their entire day to come help you move your entire apartment around, so why not help a sistah out?

HE BARLEY KNOWS YOU BUT USES FOUL LANGUAGE IN YOUR PRESENCE: Some guys get WAY too comfortable around people really fast and wind up talking crazy as if they’ve known you all their lives. When you meet a guy, if some of those 25 cent curse words start flying during what should be a calm conversation about the weather or their day, you might have a problem. Same goes for spewing the N word. Not every black person on earth pines to say that word or even feels comfortable hearing it, so assuming you won’t care or you shouldn’t be respected enough for dude to watch his language in front of you is one of those extra non-subtle ways of letting you know he doesn’t believe in such a thing as “act right.” Run for the hills!



  1. I’ve experienced each and every one of these scenerios and I’ve felt disrespected each time. You know what the sad part is? Some if not most young women or even the older ones, don’t know what it means for a man to act chivalrous towards them so they just accept it. It will take a woman to check a man to bring chivalry back…