YOU KEEP THEIR INFO AFTER IT’S OVER: You do it unintentionally, but some who like to wait around for their old flings to pop back up tend to stay very much connected with them. You might not call, but then why do you still have his number? Why have her as your Facebook friend to ask you about the new relationship status you’re toting and who you got cheesy with in your profile pic? Why do you still have all these things if you’re really trying to move on?
THEY BECOME THE BACK UP PLAN: So you’re dating someone else, but your ex is showing interest in you again. What to do? The ex becomes a back up plan. You keep in touch and text back in forth, nothing big that needs to be confessed to your new boo, but in reality, you’re stringing that ex along. You keep them at just a good enough distance that if things go south with the new boo, you can lean on their shoulder – or more. Yeah, that’s dead wrong. Baggage should get dropped off to the left…
YOU TRY HARD TO DO THINGS TO SPITE THEM: Whether it’s dissing her new man or putting on his favorite and freakiest freakum dress to throw his emotions – and testosterone – in a tizzy, when you try really hard to get an old flings attention rather than just doing you and meeting someone else, it’s clear: you’re still sprung. You might as well wear a sign on your forehead that says “Look at me” because you want all their attention. When what your ex thinks is still a huge priority for you or determines where you will and won’t show up at, it screams that you’re still craving that old thing back.
AFTER A MESSY BREAK UP, YOU QUICKLY BECOME ‘FRIENDS’: Friends!? Yeah right. More like two people playing a touchy game hoping to get back in where they fit in. Rule number one to a messy break up: Each party needs their space. It’s one thing if you have a mutual break up and it’s agreed you both are just going to give each other a little space and time before you come back home. But if he played you or you tossed him to the side, you shouldn’t be trying to get all buddy with that ex right after things fall apart.
YOU RESPOND TO THEIR ‘CHECK INS’ WHEN YOU SHOULDN’T: You finally get your ex off of your mind — and, the minute you find someone a bit more worthy of your time, there your phone goes a-ringing, your notifications lighting up because your ex checking in on you after a period of nothing. It’s your birthday, or you get a new job and post it on your social media, and there they go, texting you after months without speaking to get back on your good side. They send that long, gripping Facebook message saying how sorry they are about things in the past but how happy they are for you, or hits you with that rare bout of sentimentality they never showed while you were together.. Instead of just saying “thanks” and going about your business or declining, you’re all of a sudden all ears for their vocal diary, and guess what: you’ve been suckered back in again.
YOU’RE OKAY WITH BEING ALL UP IN EACH OTHER’S BUSINESS: For the people who have been able to maintain a relationship with their exes without crossing that line or sleeping in drama, kudos! You’re awesome. But something that I’ve noticed, especially from my own experiences is that if you do try and stay “cool” after you part ways romantically with each other, try and stay out of each other’s business boo. And by that I mean, if they asks you how things are going between you and your new boo, just say “great!” and leave it at that. The minute you show a sign of weakness in your relationship, trust, the ex will use it as an opportunity to jump in. Stick to convos about your professional lives and fun stuff. But anything that will have you second-guessing your current situation is a no-go.